Basic Issues

1. Do they work?

If this question relates to whether or not programs can reliably get program participants to stop abusing their partners, after decades of research and practice, the answer is no. Research on this subject and anecdotal reports have provided dubious, inconclusive and questionable results (even for the very small percentage of abusive men who will ever be ordered into a program).

With the national apparatus already in place for mandating and delivering programs, the question becomes, “What can we expect domestic violence offender programs to reliably and consistently do?”

The NOMAS answer:

For the community:

• Signal to the community that there are consequences for certain levels of abusive behavior committed against one’s partner.
• Provide the court with an additional sanction for domestic violence offenders.
• Provide a mechanism for monitoring compliance with this aspect of a court order.

And as such, become part of a larger strategy of social change.

For individual participants:

• Demonstrate to every participant (100%) that there was a consequence enforced by a court/authority for a domestic violence offense.
• Provide the experience of being held accountable to a fair and achievable set of policies and practices within the NOMAS Model DV Offender Program.
• Provide an opportunity to consider a perspective that makes individual change a possibility, should they choose to do so.

What NOMAS recommended was that we needed to change the expectations of what programs could realistically accomplish.

2. Does the model say men cannot change?

No, of course men can change. Any man who understands patriarchy, male supremacy, and sexism–and the impact they have on him (and all men)–can change. Any man can end his abuse toward women. Personal transformation is possible and occurs all the time.

What we challenge is the concept that a domestic violence offender program on its own is an effective and reliable vehicle for doing so. And this is in spite of our efforts (and others) to provide participants with everything they would need to treat women respectfully. We accept this as a reality.

What happens, however, is that when we publicly expose this truth, we are frequently misinterpreted to be saying the rather silly notion that men cannot change. Once again, our basic belief that we share here with you and in the program to the participants – is that all men are capable of treating women respectfully – if they choose to do so.

3. What is the model based on?

NOMAS Model batterer programs are based on more than four decades years of experience and learning and interacting with battered women’s advocates from our local community, our state and from across the United States. The model is also based on research results about batterer programs. A NOMAS Model is a service to the courts that can be used to extend the court’s accountability and monitoring functions.

4. How do we answer the criticism that the NOMAS Model is a “one size fits all” program?

Embedded in the criticism is the assumption that a “one size fits all” program does not make sense. Surely “batterers” are different from each other.

The NOMAS Model recognizes that while each of us are unique, we live in the same society and have the capacity to understand the program’s foundational material about patriarchy and male supremacy. This is true for men in the program. It is also true for police cadets, social workers, and other professionals when they receive comprehensive domestic violence training. In no instance is the material tailored to anyone’s individual needs, familial history, or community of origin. A best practice for teaching is presenting an overarching concept, while exploring how that concept plays out in different communities.

Based on the material presented in NOMAS Model programs, participants learn that men are capable of behaving respectfully towards women, and can do so, if they choose to.

In this instance, one size does fit all.

5. Do NOMAS Model programs work in collaboration with other agencies and community groups?

It is imperative that NOMAS Model programs work closely with community groups, especially battered women’s programs, groups representing the needs and interests of people of color and domestic violence coordinating councils. At the request of the battered women’s program, NOMAS Model programs attend many other community forums as well.

But What About?

6. But what about anger management?

Some of the earliest batterer programs in the United States included anger management strategies. Many still do. We follow the lead of battered women’s movement foremother Susan Schechter and thank her for exposing the unsuitability of this approach. Many will remember her question, “If it is about anger, how come he only takes it out on the woman who is his partner? When his boss, or a police officer or the judge on his case infuriates him, how come he holds off on being abusive until he gets home to his partner?” As a result, we talk about men who are abusive as expert anger managers – already skilled with the tools and techniques to control themselves – when they want to.
[Also see “When 50/50 isn’t Fair, the Case Against Couples Counseling in Domestic Violence“]

7. But what about mental health treatment?

The NOMAS Model holds that patriarchy and male supremacy, as built into the history, laws, and culture of the United States, are the cause of men’s violence against women in general, and specifically the root cause of domestic violence.

In the early history of “batterer programs,” the hope was that participation would result in a cure, i.e. no more abuse. A natural outgrowth of this thinking resulted in an individual mental health treatment model, which is operative through the present time. NOMAS believes that this was and is an understandable but misguided foundation.

The mental health model was based upon the idea that men’s abusive behavior was indicative of something that was individually wrong with them. It ignored the universal male socialization of superiority and dominance over women. The NOMAS Model perspective highlights the normative nature of men’s callousness and abusiveness towards women.

Providing mental health treatment in a domestic violence offender program undermines the recognition of the foundational principles that cause domestic violence. This diverts attention from individual men’s ability to understand the impact of male socialization as well as his capacity to resist that socialization and alter his own behavior (if he wishes to do so).

The NOMAS Model strongly believes in the value of mental health treatment for appropriately defined mental health issues, but it shouldn’t be combined with or replace a mandated domestic violence offender consequence.

8. But what about victim safety?

The NOMAS Model does not believe that domestic violence offender programs can or do enhance individual victim/survivor safety. On the contrary, we are concerned that dv offender programs may actually compromise victims’/survivors’ safety – especially by representing false hope.

One way safety might be compromised is when women put off making decisions about what to do when their partners are ordered to programs. One such woman was told that it was highly unlikely that her partner would stop being abusive just because of his participation in a program. She cried out, “You’re taking away my hope!” An advocate gave her a powerful response: “You don’t have to give up hope, but it is safest to make your plans based on the man you know you have, not on the one you hope he will someday become.”

NOMAS Model court reports regarding compliance with program requirements highlight the following statement: “Compliance or completion does not guarantee or suggest that the participant will no longer be abusive to his partner.”

The role the Model plays in safety is not related to the individual women partnered with men in the program. In the long run, safety for all victims/survivors will be enhanced by having domestic violence widely recognized as a serious offense by the courts, the community, and eventually the culture. The proper use of a domestic violence offender program can assist in this process.

9. But what about partner contact?

The NOMAS Model policy is to have no contact with victims/survivors. This includes redirecting those partners who make contact with the DVOP to the local domestic violence survivor serving program. Advocates are best suited to interact with victim/survivors, including answering questions, addressing hopes, and exposing myths, facts, and realities about dv offender programs. This is another reason why it is crucial that the DVOP has an ongoing relationship with the victim/survivor program.

The role of a DVOP is to serve the court by providing an accountability and monitoring mechanism, while offering an educational opportunity for those who participate.

10. But what about couples counseling?

The NOMAS Model recognizes that the power dynamic within domestic violence supersedes the “safe” environment as presented in a counseling environment.

For more information, read “When 50/50 isn’t Fair, the Case Against Couples Counseling in Domestic Violence”

11. But what about women? Don’t women abuse too? Don’t women also commit violence against men?

Yes, but it is not the same. History and culture point to the pervasiveness of men’s entitlements, across the globe, to control women’s lives. Women do not share these entitlements. This is the backdrop in which domestic violence became a social norm. This is fully borne out by statistics, no matter what reporting flaws are conceded. Typically, male domestic violence offenders control, dominate and terrorize their partners. Also typically, women who abuse are defending, fighting back, retaliating, or resisting. Rarely are they causing fear or disturbing the flow of or controlling their partner’s lives. It is noteworthy that the systemic supports of men’s domestic abuse are exposed by the harsh differential in punishment women get when tried for similar crimes. Women who are defendants in domestic violence cases (who are most often battered themselves) deserve (or require) vastly different community responses, mandates, and services.

12. But what about the old saying that “it takes two to tango”?

Does this question suggest that a man cannot be abusive unless his intimate partner “dances” too? If so, the answer is no, it does not take two. Men’s violence against women can start and stop with him alone. Further, no matter what provocation is used to justify why a man abuses his intimate partner, there is no situation that he cannot handle civilly. From the mundane dinner being overcooked to the controversial affair with another man, there is no provocation that justifies abuse. If women were to make no behavior changes whatsoever, men’s abuse of women could be ended.

13. But what about when women “push men’s buttons?”

There are some expressions that are so deeply entrenched that we accept them without question. “Pushing buttons” is one. It most often refers to moments when a partner defies an abuser’s limit or crosses a line that he has set. When examined, “pushing buttons” ends up as nothing other than a justification for abuse. And while we surely understand the deep frustrations and annoyances in intimate partner relationships, we are unshakable around issues of responsibility for one’s actions.

14. But what about women who stay with abusive men? Why do they stay?

Perhaps this is the most common question asked about the issue of domestic violence throughout the history of the battered women’s movement. The question itself assumes that women are incompetent and don’t make good decisions. Our belief is that women are intelligent, and that women partnered with an abuser are making life saving decisions every day for themselves and their children. They are addressing a range of powerful inhibitors to separating from their partners, including physical safety, lack of financial independence/resources, children, family influences, community pressures, faith systems, etc. As such, a question that makes more sense might be, “What is wrong with our communities – with our society in general – that makes the decision to stay with abusive men the best choice for so many women?”

15. But what about LGBTQ domestic violence offenders who are ordered to the program?

The NOMAS Model operates from the perspective that the root of domestic violence is embedded in patriarchy and male supremacy. This is true no matter who the offenders and victims are.

Patriarchy creates a hetero-normative template for couples where men are in charge (i.e. head of the household, king of the castle, etc.). Unfortunately, the LGBTQ community swims in the same socializing waters, with other issues of power and oppression determining who’s in charge.

NOMAS Model DVOP sessions are open only to men and male-identified people. Sexism permeates our society. Mixing groups recreates a forum of sexist imbalance and male entitlement that distracts from the focus on the material presented.

In addition, women and other female-identified people who are defendants in domestic violence cases are most often battered women themselves. It would be unethical and potentially traumatizing to place them in such settings. They are best-served by local domestic violence victim/survivor programs, many of whom are operating specialized programs for women who are defendants in domestic violence cases.

Program Practices

16. What about men who want to enter the program on a “voluntary” basis?

Things to consider:

First things first- are they actually voluntary? Consider the participant whose partner has said that she won’t leave or that she will return home if he enrolls in a program. The problem is that, given this scenario, she has either stayed or returned home, and there is no further consequence when / if he subsequently stops attending.

Another scenario stems from an attorney encouraging their client to enroll in the program to impress the judge/court, which often results in no actual mandate being made. This usurps the possibility of further consequence for non-compliance.

In either of the above circumstances, or when a man is truly volunteering to attend, and you have decided to open the program to voluntary participants, then the same policies and practices of the program apply to all. There is no differentiation within the classes/sessions between mandated and voluntary participation.

Whether mandated or voluntary, the information provided in a NOMAS Model program is useful, powerful, and hard to find in such an accessible format. It opens the path for individual change for anyone who chooses to use it in that way.

17. Can the participant join the program if previously terminated from this/another program?

Yes. Referrals are accepted as long as the court or referring agent is prepared to impose a consequence if the referred person fails to comply with the court order. History, other than his being a danger to staff or other persons at our program sites, does not disqualify a person from attending a NOMAS Model batterer program. (We recognize that he is a potential danger to his partner).

18. How long is each session? Does it have to be 90 minutes?

No. It is a tradition for some NOMAS Model batterer programs to do so. Our recommendation is that whatever time is prescribed, programs keep to it. We are aware of NOMAS Model programs that operate 75 and 120-minute sessions.

19. What is the fee for the program? Why are men charged a fee to attend the sessions? And doesn’t charging a fee also mean taking money from “her”?

Fees are consistent with other forms of penalties imposed by courts. They are another element in holding offenders accountable. In our programs, fees are assigned on a sliding scale determined by income. The fees cover a very small portion of program costs. As to “taking money from her,” in some way, of course, it may. So does time taken away from work in going to court, or to jail. His behavior negatively impacts battered women in many ways, including the costs his penalties incur. To date, this has not been a compelling reason for battered women’s advocates to suggest that we charge a fee to attend our program. (All clients/participants in our agency’s family service, counseling and mental health programs pay fees.)

20. Do you provide confidentiality for the men in the program?

No. When participants register for the program they are read a statement which states that participation in a NOMAS Model program is not confidential. Participants sign-off that they have heard and understand that the program is not confidential. This is in keeping with the fact that NOMAS Model programs are presentation, discussion, providing information and Q&A, not personal sharing and not treatment.

21. What are your policies on drugs and alcohol?

Included in registration information given to each participant is that if staff suspects drug or alcohol use, they will dismiss the participant from that session and he will be marked absent.

22. Do you give tests and homework?

No. As for tests, it is not required that anyone learn anything that they would be tested on. Our goal is to present information, in a compelling manner, so that it is easily understandable to all. Participants do not have to agree with what is presented. Further, we suggest that they understand it, before they disagree with it. The most important lesson, learned by all, is that he has been held accountable by the court.

If we did test, and someone got 100% on all tests, it would not necessarily say anything at all about his behavior with his partner. If he chooses to learn and integrate the material taught – that is up to him entirely. As for homework, if we gave it, we would have to be prepared to do something about those who did not do it. We do not give homework.

23. What do you do with a man who says that he doesn’t belong in this program?

We suggest he take that up with the court or agent of the court that sent him in the first place. We are not accusing or exonerating. Our role is to clarify what he must do to satisfy his order to attend the program.

24. You say you do not allow disrespectful behavior by the men in the sessions. How do you define disrespectful behavior?

The standards of respectful behavior are routinely a topic in our weekly staff development and training meetings. The right to decide is fully in the hands of the one or two staff members facilitating the session. If they deem a participant to be disrespectful or disruptive, they will say so and give the participant an opportunity to stop the problematic behavior. If he does not, he is dismissed from that session. If a participant feels he was dismissed from a session unfairly, he can call the office the next day and request a hearing. Under most circumstances a hearing is granted. We hold ourselves to a very high standard of fairness and respect toward all participants.

25. What happens if a man is re-ordered to a NOMAS Model batterer program after being dismissed?

Where accountability is central to DVOP orders, there must be a consequence to the person referred if he doesn’t comply with the order. In many instances, the best consequence available to the Court is a re-order to the program. When a NOMAS Model DV Offender Program accepts a man back on a re-order, to satisfy the requirements of accountability, he must re-register and start his obligation again at session #1. To allow him to pick up where he left off would be tantamount to no consequence at all for his non-compliance with the DVOP requirements. As such, NOMAS Model offender programs do not limit the number of re-orders the court may make.

If we haven’t answered your specific question, please email us. We will respond promptly.