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Changing Abusers’ Behavior: What Works What Doesn’t

By Barry Goldstein   Introduction A few years ago I attended a national conference for and about batterer programs. One of my colleagues aptly referred to it as a marketing conference for the batterer program industry. I am sure there were many people at the conference that sincerely sought to reduce domestic violence and believed their programs could help accomplish this. Nevertheless I was

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What Does Safe Feel Like?

The Real Meaning of Stopping Domestic Violence: Helping Potential Victims Feel Safe By Barry Goldstein   Dara Carlin is one of the best domestic violence advocates and told Elizabeth Liu and me a story when we were working on our book to train attorneys. Dara has a friend who is literally seven feet tall and could be scary to those who don’t know him.

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The Intersection of Rape, Custody and Reproductive Coercion

By Barry Goldstein Thirty-one states permit rapists to use family courts to gain access to their victim and obtain custody or visitation of a child conceived from rape. The situation is outrageous, but it doesn’t even describe the full failure of states to protect rape victims and their children. Even in states that provide some protections, a conviction is necessary to shield survivors from

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Newsweek Article: Fighting Over The Kids

Fighting Over The Kids: Battered spouses take aim at a controversial custody strategy Newsweek: Sept. 25, 2006 issue By Sarah Childress   Genia is one of many parents nationwide who have lost custody due to a controversial concept known as parental alienation. Under the theory, children fear or reject one parent because they have been corrupted or coached to lie by the other. Parental

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Barry Goldstein

BARRY GOLDSTEIN, attorney, teacher, author and advocate for women abused by their partner (and too often the courts) has written a book for women seeking to leave their abusers and for their friends, family, supporters and advocates. SCARED TO LEAVE AFRAID TO STAY Paths From Family Violence to Safety tells the story of ten women as they left their abusers seeking a better life.

NOMAS Says Use Sandusky Conviction to Protect All Children

The National Organization for Men Against Sexism (NOMAS) is relieved that Jerry Sandusky and the children who survived his repeated assaults have received a measure of justice. Sandusky will never harm a child again, but his prior acts will continue to cause unspeakable pain and damage as long as these children are remembered by friends and family. There is no reason to celebrate the

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What is Fair for Children of Abusive Men?

A presentation by Jack Straton at What About the Kids? Custody and Visitation Decisions in Families with a History of Violence, a National Training Project of the Duluth Domestic Abuse Project on Thursday, October 8, 1992, Duluth, Minnesota Introduction I will first critically examine the criterion at the base of all custody laws today, “What is in the best interests of the children?” I

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Policy Statement on Child Custody Laws

The National Organization for Men Against Sexism1 is committed to make substantive this nation’s ideals of equality and justice. In choosing loyalties in disputes over child custody, any society that cares for its future must make its primary concern that which is truly in the best interests of children. In a society such as ours in which men daily subject women to violence, oppression, and

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10 Ways Anti-sexist Men Can Help Reform the Broken Custody Court System

By Barry Goldstein, NOMAS Child Custody Task Group Research has now established that the custody court system’s response to domestic violence cases is deeply flawed.  Courts’ use of outdated practices, unqualified professionals, inadequate training, gender bias and other mistakes has resulted in thousands of children being sent to live with abusers.  This article explores the role anti-sexist men can play in reforming the custody

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by Barry Goldstein, NOMAS Child Custody Task Group Mothers and domestic violence advocates have been complaining for many years about problems in the custody court system that have resulted in large numbers of children being sent to live with abusive fathers while safe, protective mothers are denied any meaningful relationship with their children.  Courts have tended to dismiss the complaints by referring to the

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