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The Mirror Solution to Child Sexual Abuse

by Barry Goldstein   The Pennsylvania Attorney General is now following-up by investigating some of the people who helped Jerry Sandusky continue to molest boys long after he should have been discovered and stopped. A recent news report described a meeting between the young man known at the Sandusky trial as victim #1, his mother and school officials. The boy had revealed Sandusky’s abuse

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War on Mothers: Part 1

 By Barry Goldstein   To treat people who are fundamentally different or in different circumstances as if they were the same is unfair and should be stopped.  The problem is that this false equivalency is easy to miss and there are often abusive and manipulative people who seek to take advantage of it.  In fairness this false equivalency also is allowed to continue because

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Of Sluts and Bastards

by Louise Armstrong: A summary by Janet Dodd, (surrounding an internet discussion on CPS): The book is fabulous.  Historically, the concept of “family privacy”, has functioned, in practice, as protection from public scrutiny for families headed by able-bodied, middle-class (and above), white, hetero-sexual men.  You show very clearly in your book that for the most part it still does.  This makes legal policies and procedures

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Male Privilege Checklist

In 1990, Wellesley College professor Peggy McIntosh wrote an essay called “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack”. McIntosh observes that whites in the U.S. are “taught to see racism only in individual acts of meanness, not in invisible systems conferring dominance on my group.” To illustrate these invisible systems, McIntosh wrote a list of 26 invisible privileges whites benefit from. As McIntosh points out,

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Blaming by Naming: Battered Women and the Epidemic of Codependence

Phyllis B. Frank and Gail Kadison Golden Codependency is an increasingly popular term for describing an expanding population of individuals. This concept, originally identified by drug and alcohol counselors, was formulated to describe those individuals who make relationships with substance abusers, enable them, and fail to leave them even after it becomes clear that the relationship is a damaging one (Rockland County Department of

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Stopping Murders with the Quincy Solution

Quincy Solution to Haskell Murder By Barry Goldstein   Many people were shocked and saddened over a tragic story from Spring, Texas in which domestic abuser Ron Lee Haskell was looking for his ex-wife and went to the home of her sister and brother-in-law demanding to know where she was. When they were unable to tell him, Haskell executed the two parents and their

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State law promotes abuse. Which state is it?

Kentucky’s lax laws By Barry Goldstein   Context is critical in understanding domestic violence issues.  Abusers routinely seek to decontextualize their behavior in order to conceal their purpose and impact.  Courts tend to look at each issue and each incident separately and in doing so fail to recognize the patterns and so deny or minimize true domestic violence complaints. Mother Jones recently published a good article

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UNDERSTANDING DOMESTIC VIOLENCE DYNAMICS: A PREREQUISITE FOR COURT PROFESSIONALS TO WORK ON DV CUSTODY CASES

by Barry Goldstein   The frequency with which judges, lawyers, evaluators, child protective caseworkers and other professionals fail to recognize true complaints of domestic violence made by mothers in child custody cases has led to extensive discussions among domestic violence experts about the need for training. In many of these cases the professionals denied valid complaints despite receiving domestic violence training. Too often they

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Abused for being Female

The Cause of Domestic Violence is Sexism By Barry Goldstein   Nicholas Kristof, the New York Times columnist recently wrote a really useful column about sexism that makes it easier to understand and supports many of the points I have made in my next book, The Quincy Solution: Stop Domestic Violence and Save $500 Billion.  His column is particularly helpful because sexism is routinely

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Changing Abusers’ Behavior: What Works What Doesn’t

By Barry Goldstein   Introduction A few years ago I attended a national conference for and about batterer programs. One of my colleagues aptly referred to it as a marketing conference for the batterer program industry. I am sure there were many people at the conference that sincerely sought to reduce domestic violence and believed their programs could help accomplish this. Nevertheless I was

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