Ending Men’s Violence

Some Major Myths about Domestic Abuse

By Ben Atherton-Zeman, 2003 (www.voicesofmen.org)   Myth 1: It’s the victim/survivor’s job to stop the abuse. (Usually stated in a question: “Why don’t they just leave?” or “Why do they stay/go back to their abuser?”) Reality Check 1: Often when victims leave, the abuse increases. More than half of domestic homicides occur when a victim has left or is trying to leave. This is

Read More »


Media Apologizes for Giving Cosby Free Pass

What will the media do now about ongoing abuse? By Barry Goldstein Cosby biographer sorry for not pursuing rape claims Whitaker’s book has gotten good reviews (USA TODAY’s reviewer gave it four out of four stars, describing it as a “cogent” definition of “Cosby’s artistry”), but others had questioned Whitaker’s choices even before the resurgence of the sexual abuse allegations in recent months. Whitaker himself was

Read More »


Calling It Anger Adds to the Danger: Anger Management Policy Statement

Phyllis B. Frank and Gail K. Golden The counseling division of our agency intentionally does not offer what has been referred to as”anger management” programs. With decades of experience to draw upon, we have determined that most people who are thought to need anger management programs already know how to manage their anger, and do so, on a daily basis in a wide variety

Read More »


Will Baseball Get Domestic Violence Right?

Will the MLB’s response include accountability and monitoring? By Barry Goldstein In the wake of the NFL’s repeated fumbles with their response to the abuse cases of Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson and too many others, major league baseball is working with the players to do better. Working on this issue when there is no controversial case pending is a particularly good idea. Baseball also

Read More »


NOMAS MOURNS THE LOSS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ACTIVIST JENNI RIVERA

NOMAS joins the family, friends and fans in mourning the loss of domestic violence spokesperson Jenni Rivera, who was killed Sunday, December 9, 2012 in a plane crash. The Lear Jet 25 with U.S. registration, disappeared minutes after taking off from the northern city of Monterrey on its way to Toluca.  The crash has been confirmed by Mexico’s Director of Civil Aviation and the NTSB.

Read More »


Position Statement on the harms of “treatment” models for men charged with dometic violence or abuse

A recent petition featured by change.org is of grave concern to the National Organization for Men Against Sexism (NOMAS) and advocates who understand the systemic nature of domestic violence and femicide. The petition, addressed to Roger Gooddell, was featured by change.org and gathered more than 13,200 signatures as of December 15, 2012 (http://www.change.org/petitions/nfl-take-real-action-on-domestic-violence). Drafted by a therapist in Baltimore, it seems well intentioned but reinforces a common myth,

Read More »


The Importance of Using Accountable Language

by Phyllis B. Frank and Barry Goldstein This article was conceived because of the frequency with which leaders of our movement and presenters at conferences use unaccountable language in our presentations and proposals, even as they deeply care about ending men’s violence against women and have devoted their lives to helping women partnered with abusive men. Like all tools of oppression, unaccountable language is

Read More »


“Domestic Violence” as part of the broader issue of “Domestic Abuse”

“Domestic Violence” as part of the broader issue of “Domestic Abuse” The horrific physical violence that so many men continue to inflict on their wives or woman partners is truly astonishing, shocking, and galvanizing: slaps, punches, choking, severe shaking, being thrown against walls or down stairs, arms twisted or broken, burns, stabbings, gunshots, and innumerable other forms of physical injury. Yet there has been

Read More »


Men’s Violence Against Women

by Christopher Kilmartin   April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and too often we see domestic violence and rape defined as “women’s issues.” Since men do the vast majority of the damage, I think it’s a men’s issue. I’ll begin with a story, not a very happy one, to set the tone. A little while back, The Washington Post ran a story about a

Read More »